Leeroy Jenkins

Sorry for the long break, but it's been hard to find a decent amount of free time to write anything. Between training, hanging out with family, and a work deadline coming up, it's been hard to find a dedicated time to sit down and write.

In any event, I got back to Montgomery last Sunday after doing my company training for a week. It was, shall we say, an interesting experience. It didn't dawn on me until the first morning that I would be in class for 40 hours over one week. That's five hours less than a semester, in a fraction of the time. I don't know how I never thought of this sooner, but right about the time that sank in, the trainers started working me and the other four like a speed bag for five days straight. One concept, one topic after another, and on to the next. Normally I'd have time to process and take in what's being thrown in my direction. Not anymore. It wasn't all bad, though. I did learn a lot of useful information that's helped me understand more about the job, the systems I'm working with, and how it all fits together. I think it is good that I was on the job for a couple weeks before being sent off because that exposure makes the learning a little easier. It isn't all from scratch, and you can relate to prior experience so you aren't completely lost. It's a complicated system, and I can see now more than ever why the company treats its employees so well. These systems go for millions of dollars, with only a select few who know how to configure and maintain it. The effect of a person well versed with it walking away is crippling. They're counting one me to be one of those experts, have confidence I will be, and will make it worth my while to stick around. So yeah, no wonder they turn up the heat.

On the bright side, the rest of the trainees were in the same boat as me, just as lost and wide eyed in the headlights. Shared misery, as always, made for an excellent bonding mechanism so we made sure to enjoy the greater Denver area in our off hours. Thanks to my cousin's wife I had a car during the entire stay, making it possible to do things like go to Dave and Buster's to relax, or Hacienda Colorado for dinner instead of Subway. Friday night was capped off by a Rockies game, where I managed to watch a professional baseball victory in person for the first time in literally four years. I know I've been in Montana for most of that time, but as a Mariners fan, I died a little inside after realizing that. For most of my formative years we were competitive, or at least had good hitting to make games interesting. Watching players hit back-to-back doubles with two outs is something I haven't seen in ages, as is having some confidence three runs for the opposing team doesn't automatically mean game over. It felt good to be a fan of a winning baseball team again, if only for a short while.

So after all that fun and excitement, as well as good times with the Balceraks in Colorado playing a variety of card games, I came back to work this Monday fresh and eager to apply what I'd learned. At least that was the plan, until I got the wind taken out of my sails when I was told a lot of what I had done the previous week was wrong or incomplete. When the words "I've screwed up worse before, but..." are uttered, you know you did a decent job of botching something. After my head was put through the ringer a stomach punch was the last thing I needed. My team members were nice and reassuring, and gave me the benefit of the doubt that I don't know everything and left stuff incomplete before training, but it wasn't the best news I could have heard. Especially since it was followed by me stepping through error messages I could barely decipher, let alone patch, for the next several days.

But that's part of any new job. As my older brother told me, when you start a new job, you're going to fuck up. It's inevitable, so don't beat yourself up over it. Accept the fact it happened, brush yourself off, and make sure you learned something from it. For me, I now know what the gaps in my knowledge are, and filling those will help me get better quicker, especially with regards to terminology. I've even seen some modest improvements this week; by the end of today, I was patching more problems on my own the first try. I was able to see that something was obviously wrong, and knew how to solve it off the top of my head. Granted, they weren't huge, complex problems, but it's baby steps. I've got to walk before I can crawl. So in the mean time, I just need to keep my head down and learn as much as I can, but still find productive ways to blow off steam outside of work. I'll go from coal to diamond one day. But not yet.