The Written Word

For the past couple weeks I've been in a rut of sorts. It was nothing real specific that I could pinpoint, just the feeling and knowledge that the wind was taken out of my sails, or that I've hit a lull or wind hole. In my off hours, I found myself asking more and more what I was doing with my life. I've got a sweet job and all, but as far as personal betterment is concerned I've been doing jack shit. I've fallen off the swimming wagon, there isn't a whole lot to do in Montgomery I haven't already done, and my days have become uncomfortably interchangeable. I thought about my activities and nothing really stood out; it seemed more like a collection of diversions that killed time between commitments. Keeping up on the news is good and all, but being informed isn't a goal. It's a means to an end of being a well rounded person. I need something to stimulate my mind and intellect, and reading up on political squabbles and glorified press releases just isn't doing it for me.

So I took a cue from an awesome person in my life and picked up a book. It's called Consider Phlebas, the first in a series of space sci-fi novels that revolves around an advanced society called The Culture. It's been a very good read; I've had it for about a week and am already nearly through its 500+ pages. Iain Banks has a way of writing that flows extremely well, and is very descriptive and witty in places, but most importantly it has stretched my mind. The book is quite epic in scope, and the way people, places, societies, and events come to life are a breath of fresh air compared to what I'm used to. It made me realize that most of the things I read on a daily basis aren't very well written, or aren't that creative or imaginative. I'm a computer guy and spend a lot of my time on the web, so this might just be a reflection of the sites I choose to visit, but it made me think about the old programming principle Garbage in, garbage out. If the input is terrible, you're going to get terrible results; there isn't some magic box in the middle that makes good things happen in a puff of glitter and happiness. Even though reading in one's spare time is mostly for fun and diversion it does have an impact on their overall life. For me, I kept remembering the old books I read, video games played, and comic books I tore through. Not only were they entertaining, but they moved me in some way to try something new, read up on some subject, or change my habits for the better. Inspiration is the essence of writing; unfortunately, that tends to be lacking in a lot of the places I visit.

Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy visiting Reddit and other various sites, but I guess I need to find a balance. If there's one thing I've learned after four months of being out here, it's that "balance" is a concept I tend to struggle with. Fortunately I'm still young and have time to learn these things. The Culture series stretches nine books so far, so that should keep me occupied for a little while. Hopefully after then I'll have more to go on, but in the mean time it's good progress on clearing out the garbage that's started to accumulate and weigh me down.

(Not Yet) Moving

So it looks like I'll be in Alabama for a little bit longer. How long? Don't know. But my lease is up and it goes month to month now, so I remain in limbo. I wouldn't really mind much, except it's making travel plans difficult. I'd like to go back to Seattle for Thanksgiving and/or Christmas, but I don't want to buy plane tickets only to change them and get jacked $100+ for changing my point of origin. I would also like to buy a grotesquely large HDTV the size of a wall, among other amenities, but it's difficult to put them in a fully furnished apartment. In addition, I'd like to get a smart phone and join all the cool kids and their apps, but it helps to know what city has what kind of reception with whatever carrier (preferably Verizon, as I'd like to get a Droid).

It isn't all bad, though. I still get all the sweet temporary assignment perks, and things on this project are starting to get more serious as we're approaching some key deadlines. It means I might be a little more busy, and also get to see more of how things are supposed to shape up on an implementation. This is a well run project, and the more I can learn the better. It's also still warm here, which always makes me smile when I look at the forecasts for Seattle and Missoula. However, I'm kind of itching to get a place of my own built up. The entire time I was in college, I lived a relatively Spartan life (you know, excluding the trips to China and Australia. Yes, I know how much that makes me sound like an asshole). The only time I ever updated my wardrobe was when my mom or sister-in-law would give me new clothes while forcibly removing the old ones, making snide comments about them as often as possible. I only bought a couple posters as decoration, and didn't buy any chairs, couches, or TVs. Usually my money was spent on going out, nicer groceries, and kitchen supplies. I like food and cooking, and have no fashion or interior design sense, so I guess it was kind of a logical series of events.

Now that I have a steady income, I'm ready to put it to use and pimp out my abode. I find myself looking at the TVs and chairs and couches and wanting them with an increasing urge. Same with cooking gadgets, though I have been picking those up as needed. And I made a weekend trip to Atlanta last weekend, so my urge to get out and travel was sated for a little bit. (By the way, Atlanta is an awesome city. I highly recommend it. Between Gladys Knight's Chicken and Waffles and a burger called the Double Coronary from The Vortex, the city might kill you over time, but it's totally worth it). Still, if I'm ever going to win me my trophy wife or not lead a complete life of squalor it might help to have more than a bed, a big screen, and cardboard boxes.

I guess, more than anything, I want to do things. Work takes up a large chunk of time, and when I'm not consulting, I don't want to just sit around and veg while watching Jersey Shore. Getting all set up is something I've been thinking about ever since I got the job and I want to finally get around to doing it, to accomplish that personal goal. I've made it; I've accomplished all those scholastic and career goals I had in college, and buying my own stuff with my own money is tangible proof I can achieve what I set my mind to. I'm more than happy to stay as long as I'm needed, and am fine with the current situation here in Alabama. I'm not unhappy, but there are certain things I'd like to do but can't. I guess the moral of this story, on a Sunday dominated by football both real and fantasy, is that I want my goliath HDTV + TiVo already!!!

Two Years, Six Months

A couple weeks ago I had the privilege of going back to my alma mater to do some recruiting for my company. When I was asked if I would be willing to do it, I was pretty much baffled - I was only in my third week on the job, and they already wanted me to go back? Why not more qualified people? This quickly subsided, however, as the chance to visit Montana for a week, see a football game, and catch up with friends hit me and I forgot about the rest. As the date kept on getting closer and closer, though, that question started sticking out more and more - why me?

It really started bugging me, and I didn't really pin it down until a couple nights before I left: I didn't feel all that qualified to go back and talk with students. For most people who recruit, it consists of going to career fairs, setting up booths, looking over resumes, doing interviews, narrowing down qualified candidates, and passing along anyone who seems like they would be a good fit. For us, when we go to Montana, it's a little more in depth than that. We're typically on campus for a week, talking to classes and having informal talks with students before getting down to the nitty-gritty formalities. Students ask a lot of questions not just about the job, but academic advice, general career guidance, how their resumes look, etc. You get to know these people, most of whom are very bright and motivated, and they look to you for those insights that can help land them a great job. It's a lot of fun, but it's also a huge responsibility and privilege to be in that position. That thought was quite daunting; who am I to be that person, what do I know? I haven't even been in the working world full time for three months. Going further, I haven't even been in my field all that long. I started out college a Journalism major, before switching over to Business and eventually Information Systems in April of '08. That's barely a blip on the radar. And now I'm being asked to represent my company in front of all these eager young students?! Something really doesn't add up.

One of the things I loved about my major, though, was that it didn't focus on specific skills or pieces of technology, but instead taught the basic frameworks you need to be successful. Technology changes every day, but by focusing on the underlying patterns you get a feel for what makes things tick and how to use them to your advantage. And even though I haven't been in the IS field all that long, let alone be full of wisdom and experience, I have shown a knack for applying the concepts to problems I have and getting results. If not, I wouldn't be where I am today. Luck probably played a factor as well, but fortune favors the bold. I went out on a limb becoming an IS major, talking with the women who recruited me into the company, when applying for the presidency of the student group I used to lead, etc. I've come a long way in two and a half years.

When I finally had to get up and speak to a classroom full of students, that's what I kept in the back of my mind. I got this far for a reason, and hopefully I can inspire someone else to do as well or better than me in the same amount of time. The other two people who were with me are in a league of their own, personally and professionally, so when I wasn't speaking it was great to see them in action. Especially in the beginning, when I wasn't really sure of what to expect out of the entire experience, they were great examples of what to do and how it should be done. I probably learned more from them than the students did, and some of what rubbed off has already helped me in my first weeks back. Guess learning by osmosis does work...

As the days passed, I got more comfortable settling into my new position in life and speaking as a professional. In another two and a half years I'll have more experience and will be able to give more practical advice than I can right now. I'll have even more nuanced points of view two and a half years after that, when I'm a polished and battle-hardened monument to professional excellence. But for right now, this is what I can do. I have the frameworks that are working for me, and even though I don't have the instant gratification results I'd like, I can see a lot of progress in my current job and career. Might not be much in the grand scheme, but if anything, it's a great start.

No rest for the weary

Once again, I've dropped the ball on updates. It's been pretty busy for me and there hasn't been a good time to sit down and write. I almost mixed up your/you're today, it's been that hectic. And it might continue for a few weeks, as things at work will continue to pile on (and I'm assured they will). So if there are more delays, sorry. I'll at least try and throw something up. Some quick hits before I need to cook dinner and catch up on sleep...

- I went on a recruiting trip to Missoula this past week that went pretty well. I had a lot of fun being on the other side of the employment game, as well as catching up with friends and old professors. I plan on writing more about this soon.

- There might be some news in the near future of where/when I might be moving. I only say this because the lease on my apartment is up on the 15th, and I would imagine I'd be told if I was staying longer or should be prepared to pack up and ship out. There's an outside chance they could tell me to live out of my car indefinitely, but I'd like to think otherwise.

- Fantasy football is off to a bumpy start, thanks to me benching Arian Foster and LeSean McCoy at the worst possible weeks. I also can't get a defense that will net me positive points. I hope this isn't a season long trend.

- I'm in a rut as far as cooking is concerned. I just haven't been able to find a whole lot of new recipes that have piqued my interest. I might start dabbling in some more seafood on occasion (tuna steaks and maybe an occasional swordfish), but other than that it's chef's block for me. Any ideas?

Getting hungry now. Hope to have that Missoula roundup online by the end of this weekend, so stay tuned.

The Good Times

It seems like most of my posts have been about the more negative side of things. While there certainly are downsides and trials associated with a new job and life, they haven't dominated my life like it might seem. Quite the opposite: I actually really enjoy what I'm doing. It doesn't make for very interesting writing, however, talking about configuring documents for online taxes, or that I just passed 5,000 hours of sleep wearing my CPAP. Confidentiality agreements also prevent me from elaborating on some of the fun, and I'd prefer to keep my job over blabbing stuff I shouldn't to the blagosphere. That kind of limits my options, and since tragedy usually makes for good writing, the temptation to stray towards that area and stay there can be all too easy.

What I do is challenging work, to be sure, but I enjoy doing it. I can sit at my desk and do my work for hours without feeling the need to visit ESPN or Fail Blog, and even though I'd prefer to go home at 5:00, I don't mind staying for an extra half hour or more to get the task I'm working on completed. All things told, I couldn't ask for much more from a job, especially coming out of college in a down economy. I get to work on puzzles for 8+ hours a day with a lot of other young, like-minded individuals, experience new places, and finally apply what I've been spending over 20 years learning. And it's about damn time. The last year of college, while fun, was extremely frustrating because I really wanted to get out and do something, instead of sit in a classroom, act like a sponge, and waste money on cheap food and drink specials. That's probably been the most rewarding part for me so far: realizing my independence. While I had tons of help getting to where I am today, what I do from here on out is pretty much a product of me and my work. And my work is pretty awesome. What I'm doing is actually of benefit to society, and useful for (literally) millions of other people. Instead of being a leech on others in the hope I'll turn out well, I'm finally giving back, making something of myself, and standing on my own. It might not be as noble as working to end human trafficking, but putting something of use out there for others is a great feeling.

Again, adjusting to a new life has been hard, but not first-couple-years-of-Shawshank-for-Andy hard. Most of my frustrations stem from the fact that for most of my life, I've been one of the brighter people in all my groups, classes, and endeavors. There haven't been many challenges I haven't been able to overcome, even if it did take decades (who's laughing now, loop-swoop-and-pull?!) Now, I'm working with all the other people who are just like me, learning an entirely new, complex body of knowledge that will take me longer to master than anything else I've ever learned. There will be a little frustration when I'm still taking baby steps to catch up with people who are light years ahead. Overall, though, I'd much rather be here than working as a code monkey of some kind. Even if it doesn't seem that way, I'm happy with where I am. Don't let the growing pains fool you.

Coffee

Growing up, I can probably count on two hands the number of times I actually drank coffee. 100% of these cases involved me being on a long road trip to/from Seattle, Missoula, and/or Colorado. It was basically my "in case of emergency, break glass" drink when I needed a kick in the ass so I'd stop dozing off at the wheel. I hated the idea of breaking down and getting coffee to stay awake, but when I did, it was always necessary. Why did I hate it? I'm not really sure. I think it goes back to when I was a kid and found out caffeine stunted your growth. Even though I never drank it to begin with, I wanted to be bigger and taller than everyone else, and didn't want anything handicapping my vertical ascension. Well, mission accomplished. With a few exceptions, all of you can suck it.

Even after my growth stopped, I never took up drinking coffee even when I probably should have. Like 8 a.m. classes, for example, or any activity before noon. But it's hard to do something you've been actively loathing for close to two decades at the drop of a hat. There needs to be some kind of catalyst to kick-start that habit. Which is where the working world comes into play. I wake up around 6:30 - 6:45 a.m. five days out of the week now, no exceptions. And when I do arrive at work, they expect me to actually be productive and not drool on myself as I fall in and out of sleep. With my well documented sleep issues, this drooling tends to happen every day of the year except those four days (at most) where I actually wake up feeling rested and refreshed. Especially since I'm new, I really need to be alert and learn what's happening around me if I want to keep this pretty swell gig.

So, enter coffee. For a few weeks in the beginning, I was able to hold out. My mental fortitude was strong, and the occasional energy drink or 5 - 10 minute break/walk would usually do the trick. But as I found myself more sluggish and sluggish, I really needed a quick pick-me-up. And the coffee pot is in the space right next to mine, sitting all warm and ready to be consumed, with plenty of creamer and a large vat of sugar right next to it. I really had no choice but to break down by the time I got back from training. Now, instead of hating the substance, I can tolerate it, with enough sugar to push me that much closer to diabetes. On the bright side, it makes me more active and alert with my work, and time seems to go faster than if I'm jabbing myself with pointy objects to stay awake. It's pretty much a win-win for everyone. On the other hand, it kind of feels like succumbing to some evil, ominous force. Coffee has been the nectar of worker bees for centuries now, functioning as a token of one's status as a contributing member of society. While everyone else I knew started drinking it by the gallon, I abstained; it was a part of who I was. I could always become the exotic tea guy, but it's just not the same. I have been assimilated, drugged and wandering further and further into the hive of productivity.

Mark vs. The Exercise Routine

As some of my earlier posts have mentioned, Montgomery isn't exactly the healthiest place in America. There's fast/fried food everywhere; oppressive heat means most waking hours are spent avoiding the outdoors; and there aren't a whole lot of outdoorsy areas that don't have a high probability of gator sightings, or are just bad areas to avoid altogether. This, combined with my new 40+ hour work week in which I mostly stare at a computer monitor, has not made for the healthiest of living environments. So when it dawned on me a couple weeks ago that I should probably start working out again, the first thought that popped into my head was "Great! Umm... how am I gonna do that?" The answer is easy enough: use the fitness facility I get for free in my apartment complex. The part that's become really hard to answer, though, is when.

I thought it would be easy enough to hit the gym after I get off work. Convenient gap time between then and dinner, I'll have the urge to blow off some steam and get active, etc. Instead, I find myself wiped at the end of each day, wanting to lay down on my couch play some StarCraft or go on Facebook. It's also really inconvenient if I need to work any overtime, run errands, or catch dinner or drinks with co-workers. While working out is great, it shouldn't dictate the more important things in life. This left me with one option: work out early in the morning before work. Which is great, except for the teensy snafus that keep me up at night and make my quality of sleep piss poor to the point I don't want to think of getting out of bed before noon.

The ideal scenario here would be lap swimming. It's low impact, gives a total body workout, and most places even come with a relaxing sauna. If I could get up, eat breakfast, swing by the pool and swim some laps before heading to work, that would be a great schedule. I could do that. Unfortunately, the only place I've found so far is the YMCA, which costs $40/month plus a $50 sign up fee that I really don't want to pay. Alternatively, I could try and swim around the small Lima bean-shaped pool outside the gym here and risk not cracking my head open, but the chances of that happening are roughly 0%.

So far, I've devised a plan that may or may not work: wake up a half hour early and do some push ups, crunches, and stretches until I get into the morning workout mindset, then hit the weights bright and early. I'm really not a fan of this plan, and don't know how long it will last. Maybe not even through the end of the month (or the week). But I need to get active. Unlike college I don't have a lot of leeway to blow off hitting the gym for a few hours; my days are a lot more structured and (somehow) exhausting. If I don't build good habits now, they aren't going to magically appear later when I really need them and putting in the effort to get fit is even harder. I just really wish I didn't have to wake up so early...

(This is yet another reason why I really want my cyborg body right now dammit!)